This week, we read the double Torah portion of Matot-Ma'ase, completing the book of Numbers, meeting the Israelites as they approach the Promised Land. Knowing that entering the land of Israel brings to fruition the original promise from God to our ancestors, one might expect the Torah to focus on the destination - on the place that is to be an end to the years of wandering in the desert. And, we might even expect that the Torah would be full of all that will happen once our people enter the Land of Milk and Honey. Yet, as the final chapters of desert wandering unfold, what is described is a very different part of the journey of our people. Instead, the opening words of Parashat Ma'ase begin: "These are the travels of the Israelites who went out from the land of Egypt, with their armies, by the hands of Moses and Aaron. And Moses Moses wrote down their goings out and their comings forward according to the word of the Lord; these are their comings forward and their goings out."
This seems a bit strange, since the Torah then proceeds reliving the events and experiences of our ancestors during 42 stops in the desert on the way to the Promised Land. Why, at this point, does it mention when they left Egypt? It should have just said when they went to the Land of Israel. After all, if I were to take a trip from Los Angeles to Dallas and wanted to share my experiences along the way, I would not say 'this is what happened to me on my trip from New York'. It is more likely that I would say 'this is what happened to me on my way to Dallas'. So, why then does this parashah take us back to Egypt with the image of the Egyptians continuing to bury the first borns killed in the plagues?
Rabbi Meir Loeb ben Yechi'el Michael Malbim (1809-1879, Eastern Europe), famous for his commentary on the entire Bible, explains another question that sheds light on ours. He asked why does the Torah enumerate all the different stops. Indeed, why was it necessary to make so many stops? . He says that while the Jews lived in Egypt they were surrounded by reminders of their time in Egypt, and at each stop they made in the desert, they were immersed in experiences - some of their own making and some as a result of the enslavement and persecution of the Egyptians - of defilement, disappointment, degradation, and obstinacy. The purpose, Malbim says, of the long journey was to rid the Jews of exactly those contagious and dangerous elements that could threaten their fulfillment in the Land of Israel. At every stop they discarded, as it were, another part of their defilement.
The question is similarly asked in another way by the Eastern European commentator known as S'fat Emet. in commenting on the verse, "Moses wrote down their goings out and their comings forward according to the word of the Lord; these are their comings forward and their goings out" he wonders why it is that the order is reversed from the beginning of the verse (which refers to the goings out and their comings forward) to the end of the verse (which refers to the comings forward and their goings out). His answer it seems is that the "coming forward" depends on "goings out" from Egypt.
Only after going out of Egypt and leaving pieces of it behind in each subsequent stop can the Exodus ultimately be complete and the Israelites move forward into the land of Israel. Likewise, in our individual journeys, each of us has those places (physical, emotional, and spiritual) that we have been. And, like our ancestors in the desert, some of those places have left us with our own anger, fears, resentment, disappointment and challenges. But, also like our ancestors of so many years ago, unless and until we look to where we have been and face ourselves honestly and humbly, we cannot possibly let go that which blocks us from growing and experiencing our own journey's promise.
As we journey through this week and into this Shabbat, I pray that each of us and all of us can revisit the places we have been and leave behind that which impedes our meeting in the Promised Land.
Shabbat Shalom.
B'virkat Shalom,