RABBIS OF L.A. | Rabbi Tarlan Loves Teaching ‘Different Ways to Do Jewish’

One of Rabbi Tarlan Rabizadeh’s favorite duties as director of Jewish engagement at American Jewish University is leading the Miller Introduction to Judaism program. “Since Oct. 7,” the Los Angeles-born Persian rabbi said, “we have had a huge surge, tons of people super-interested in taking a class. Many always have wanted to learn about Judaism, to take the course, and this propelled them to take the plunge.”

Entering her third year as director, Rabbi Tarlan noted there has been a major change in the typically 70-person group enrolling in the 18-week course. “When this program came into fruition, it was for people who wanted to convert to Judaism before getting married,” she said. “Based on our research, people are taking our class now after they are married but before they have kids.” Even in-laws are taking the course to learn what will be taught to their son or daughter.

When an interfaith couple inquires, the Jewish partner is encouraged to also take the course so the two can talk about it. Regarding laws of Shabbat, the rabbi said, “especially students from a Catholic background, are, like, ‘Oh my gosh, I have to do everything one by one by one.’ And so – the Jewish partner may say, ‘Honey, that’s okay. We don’t do that. We can drive on Shabbat.’ That is part of the conversation they need to have.”

Raised in a home where both of her parents were born in Iran, Rabbi Tarlan is no stranger to pushing back. She prides herself on bringing change to the Introduction to Judaism curriculum. “Originally it was very much a Conservative program,” the rabbi said. “I have opened it up to be more about teaching traditions as they were originally given – but allowing people to do Jewish on their own terms. That is our tagline.” She is proud of the program’s miniscule dropout rate, only one or two per term.

As for distinctions between men and women pursuing conversion, be careful how you address them. “There is no more ‘ladies and gentlemen,’” the rabbi explained. “We have a handful of people who identify as ‘they.’”

Since Oct. 7, there has been an explosion of Jews interested in making aliyah. “It matters if their mother was Jewish,” Rabbi Tarlan said “I was ordained from a Reform seminary (Hebrew Union College) that doesn’t care about those kinds of things. Israel does.” There’s a critical distinction, she explained. “For Israel, anyone who has Jewish blood can make aliyah,” the rabbi said. “But whether they would be considered Jewish and welcomed in Jewish communities is a different matter.” Rabbi Tarlan teaches “the different” kinds.

Stoutly proud of her Persian culture that infuses every pore, it is her guiding light. “I took this job,” she said, “to be a director and an educator, to be sure this curriculum wasn’t just Ashkenazi. It was. There’s a whole recipe section on how to make your bubbe’s babkas.”

Clearly, she loves her chosen path. “I get to teach people not only what it means to be Jewish, but how to do Jewish,” the rabbi said. “I welcome them into the tribe in a way that explains all the nuances, including mother-in-law comments and Jewish guilt. I catch them up in 18 weeks, students from Korea, Japan, Dubai, New York, Arkansas. We do Zoom, in-person at IKAR or Sinai, or online.”

Her goal is to make students from around the world understand there are different ways of being Jewish. Rabbi Tarlan mentioned one of her students from India: “They don’t want to know about the difference between Jesus and God. They want to learn ‘Do I have to put my curry away or can I put it on gefilte fish?’”

When she explains “We are not really boxed in, in the Persian community,” she means, “We don’t speak in terms of Reform, Conservative or Orthodox except maybe to explain to others where we are on the spectrum.”

Rabbi Tarlan attended Stephen Wise Temple’s day school, but the Rabizadehs “didn’t really” go there for services. “When I asked my Dad ‘Why did you send me to a Jewish school,’ he said ‘Your grandpa made me.’” Her grandparents were “quite religious,” she noted. “I asked my Dad why Stephen Wise and not Sinai. He said a couple reasons: It was right next to our house, and he said he loved that they have two and a half hours of Hebrew speaking every other day. He loved the Zionism and the Hebrew, but not halacha in the same way.”

Asked how her parents responded to her deepening religiosity, the rabbi said “I don’t know how observant I am, but I am pretty religious. I don’t think they understand that nuance. When I told them I wanted to become a rabbi, they looked at me and said, ‘You’re a woman.’ They didn’t know Stephen Wise would order non-kosher meat. ‘Who’s going to hire you? You’re a woman.’”

Ordained in 2018, Rabbi Tarlan noted that Rabbi Sharon Brous, founder of the IKAR community, was her 10th grade teacher at Milken Community High School and a powerful influence on a rabbinic direction.

En route to earning two Master’s degrees, Rabbi Tarlan was asked how she ended up at Boston University. “I ran away,” she said. “I looked at a map and saw it was the farthest from L.A., diagonally.” 

As a American native, Rabbi Tarlan has one problem with her country. “We are a little isolated,” she said. “We don’t have enough neighbors except for Canada and Mexico. We are isolated from cultures. When you live in Italy, you have neighbors like Germany and France not so far away.”

Rabbi Tarlan hopes to start a synagogue “just like my inspiration, Rabbi Brous, did at IKAR – but for the Persian Jewish community.”

Fast Takes with Rabbi Tarlan

Jewish Journal: Your favorite place to travel?

Rabbi Tarlan: Israel. That is not an obvious answer. You have rabbis who don’t want to go to Israel. I shop. My Dad used to say, ‘If you’re going to waste my money, I prefer you waste it in Israel.’ I shop a lot.

J.J.: What do you do in your spare time?

RT: Sleep. And I see my friends. I am also starting to paint again, portraiture.

J.J.  Your favorite Shabbat meal?

RT: Persian Jews make many special dishes on Friday night. My favorite is ghormeh sabzi (Persian herb stew).

As originally posted in Jewish Journal: https://jewishjournal.com/community/rabbis-of-la/373765/rabbis-of-l-a-rabbi-tarlan-loves-teaching-different-ways-to-do-jewish/